Turning 30? Oh God!

India is a country where your house is always been under surveillance by your neighbour or some Sharmaji ka ghar. Here, you get more tantrums or taane than the actual Carmel you find in five star. Sometime, I feel like I am being kidnapped by my own parents because they always find the way out to compare us with neighbour, Sharmaji ka Beta.

Source: Scoopwhoop

“Tuje pata he woh panchvi galli me jo Sharmaji rehte he na, uske bête ki shaadi ko teen saal ho gaye aur apne liye naya ghar bhi le liya.”

“Maa, Woh Hawas ke pujari ne naya ghar isiliye liya ke naye ghar me jaaye toh uska kuch khada ho sake!!! Warna 3BHK me 10 aadami ke sath rehne wala banda kaha se apni gufa tak pahochega?” I wanted to speak loudly but just murmured with myself.

Sharmaji ka beta is idol to them, according to every parent. But we only know, how many time he has been caught by police for making out with girl in public.

Infact, every house has the same story when the girl/boy turns out to be 26/27.

Beta shaadi kab kar rahe ho?

Are you really serious? Dude, don’t we have another priority or some work to do in life apart from getting f**ked in the day by boss and release those frustrations by f**king at night?

We just wish to evaporate from the situation and drown into the cup of water.

As far as these statements come from elders or relatives, are somewhat tolerable. But, when the friend who has just found his perfect match (according to him) without acknowledging him in prior, and his family had set up a trap for him for making it yes at one go, gives the advice for getting married. I speak, “Pehle toh bada sher ban ke ghoom raha thaa na, ab toh ghar wale hi khud iss sher ke shikari nikle toh pinjre me beth kar bhigi billi ban gaya.”

Actually now I get the real answer from a family.

Our mom is like Mother India. She can’t even see our real hard work as the society has already set up the things naturally.

Beta kab tak apne haath ki lakiro ko ghista rahega?

It seems like all the peeps on the earth have done doctorate degree on imposing their thoughts and advices on the bachelor guys.

Khud toh apni haath lauri me akele service nai kar paaye, isiliye dusre ko rakh liya kaam pe oiling ke liye.

Whenever you go to your friend’s place and in case if his mother welcomes you, then definitely she does it with a question instead of water, “Beta, kab tak akele ghumte rahego? Ab toh gaadi bhi aa gayi, laadi kab laa raha hai tu?”

“Yes, auntyji. Jab woh aapki cousin ki beti haa bol de tab.” I always wish to hit her with this answer. 

But damn, whenever I see my friend, I feel pity for being her kid.

But the day comes when you finally attend your friend’s wedding. The people have always been haunting you with their machine guns to fire you with their idiotic questions.

Somehow we save our self by excusing and diverting mind in food and checking out hot chicks. But for sure, we never get saved when the moment comes of taking a group picture of friends on the stage. But, once we step out from the stage, then there’s no chance of running away from groom’s parents. Finally, we get caught.

Oh shit! We can never get out of this situation now.

“Beta, ab toh tumhare friend circle me sirf tum akele hi baaki ho, kab kar rahe ho shaadi?”

“Haanji auntyji, yeh chai pi ke me ghar hi jaa raha hu. Raaste me koi milti he toh bas sidha isi mandap me lekar aata hu.” I wish I could hold her tightly from shoulder and scream in her ears like she would never dare to hear her own silent fart.

Those 4 to 5 years are so creepy that even any vendor comes to sell out the things in your society, you feel abhi yeh bolega, beta aaj kal toh dhaniya aur mirchi ki bhi Jodi he. Leikn teri Jodi kaha he?

Source: Google

Until we reach 30, we desperately lose our patience and invite everyone to say Aao bhai, maine meri khulli hi rakhi he. Maar lo jitni aapko marni ho. Aapki marzi.

But let me tell you, marriage is not only the priority which is left in the world. It’s a myth that has been carried since ages, that if you don’t get married by the age of 26, then you will not get enough choices of candidates.

Yeh wahi log bolte he jinke pas shaadi ke alawa aur kuch kaam nai he!!!

Bhai, tum log woh ho jisne kutte ki doom pe apna pair rakha he. Pata he woh kaatne hi waala he.

We’re just more cautious ke abhi yeh hamara time nai he ki hum gale me patta bandh ke ghume. 

That’s all.