Is India Changing? – India’s Battle For Love

(Photo Courtesy: Google)

Right now the whole universe along with India is mesmerized with the happiness & pride and painted in the colour of Love. Everyone is now running by taking the pride of scraping section 377 by the Supreme Court in the past days. Social media and newspapers are filled with conversations and reports about Section 377. Everyone looks happy, is filled with pride and is feeling Gay suddenly. But before dancing on any song, we should know its beat, so that becomes easy for us to shake our legs according to the song beat.

(Photo Courtesy: Youtube)

History has been made and I guess it’s not an illegal or criminal offense to be Gay in India anymore.

There has been a huge uproar throughout the country with people supporting the striking down of section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, 1860 (IPC). When people talk about section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, people generally think it just criminalises homosexuality (sexual attraction to the people belonging to the same sex) and violates the rights of gay people.

This is the section against homosexuality. Chapter XVI, Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code 1860, criminalises sexual activities "against the order of nature", arguably including homosexual sexual activities. This is also known as unnatural offences.

What does the law say?

Section 377 of the Indian Penal code makes carnal intercourse, or any non-procreative sexual act between a man and a woman illegal, punishable with up to 10 years in jail and/or a fine.

Though it doesn't apply only to homosexuals, it is widely perceived as the anti-gay sex law. It only penalises carnal intercourse against the order of nature. This covers homosexuals and heterosexuals alike.

So until now, you must have some basic and rough idea what Section 377 is about, and why everyone is painting their happiness by expressing gratitude and love!

But here is the main question that has been raised. Is really India changing?

Many people must agree that Yes, finally the Son has risen in India after a long wait and a historic judgement touches millions of lives. We’ve been discriminated against for ages. And this is the real Independence Day for the Queer citizen of this country. The whole country is celebrating and rejoicing in that celebration of the verdict against Section 377 which criminalised homosexuality.

Yes, this is the one bright part which shows that finally, India is stepping into the shoes of modern culture which makes India brighter and shiner. But what about the other side of the coin? India is changing. But what about the society? Is society changing? Has society accepted the way of living of LGBT community? Are they still struggling to face the challenges and consequences in India while living with normal people like us?

(Photo Source: Hindustan Times)

It’s not only about LGBT community, but also about the Love of a human being for other humans. LGBT plays a vital role in it since it took many years to understand the Supreme Court and its judiciary that falling in love and having a sex with the same gender is not criminal activity now. But here, we fail to understand that the society or the people who you are living with are not ready to accept the fact and reality check of falling in love with the same gender, holding hand of Muslim girl, sharing your soul and life with your spouse who is way older/younger than you, being the part of family who is on a way to his/her second life (marriage), accepting his/her kids. Thus, transgender is still considered as a taboo in India.

We’re still living in that country, where parents are ashamed of calling their son or daughter gay or lesbian or falling in love with other castes. It’s struggle for them and the constant feeling that their world could come to end at any moment. Society has progressed, but many members of our community hold onto self-hate and shame from an earlier era, with sometimes fatal consequences.

When people go against these rules made by society, they face some serious consequences and they have to give up on their love life ultimately. When it comes to acceptance between different castes and communities and same the genders then it is like a taboo for most of the people. But it is believed by various social reformers that in order to remove this barrier of caste and religion, it is very much necessary that inter-caste love, homosexual, bisexual, transgender love must take place. Love is regarded not only as a social institution in India but also as a sacrament.

Somewhere I hear the image of this conversation happening in society.

"You must be so proud. You have such a perfect son."

Dad smiling wide. Mom smiling wide.

They are calling me perfect. Why do I feel guilty then? Like I am hiding a dirty secret inside?

Let's face it - our society needs a massive makeover. Today, homosexuality and queer identities may be acceptable to more Indian youths than ever before, but within the boundaries of family, home and school, acceptance of their sexuality and freedom to openly express their gender choices still remain a constant struggle for LGBT community.

In a society, bound by a rigid mind set of social and cultural norms that dictate the terms and conditions of education, career, and marriage, the lack of family support, the intolerance of society and their disrespect can prove to be a big blow to the mental and physical health of LGBT people. A queer person has multiple struggles in all aspects of life. The society and family can make these people’s lives much easier if they don’t add to these struggles. The fundamental problem is that society has a hard time accepting the people as sexual beings. So, any talk of sexuality and sexual or gender identity is foiled and wrapped in shame. This is where the guilt and confusion begins. If people ask uneasy questions, most people hush and silence them. The family needs to learn to listen and let their children open up about difficult issues.

If someone has to live while hiding integral aspects of themselves, then one is as good as dead and nobody talks about the dead people. Now India has legalised same sex marriage because we understand the need of having the freedom to love and the freedom to marry whoever you want. Everyone has the right to marriage since marriage is all about love and not gender or caste. We should be allowed the freedom to choose our life partners. For how long will this chaos go on? When will society take a step to finish off these evils? This social evil has destroyed many lives and unfortunately, it still continues. Today these people are unable to live a normal life, just because they chose to marry for love, outside their caste or same gender.

We have to come closer to bridging the gap between reality and a truly inclusive society. We will consider this country to be free when society no longer differentiates in its treatment of people who may be lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or straight.

Yes, India is changing, but somehow society has to come out of their narrow shell and accept the definition of Love, be it in any form.

Don’t ever be afraid to show off your true colours.

Somehow we’ve won the battle but not war.

This video indeed captures the feeling that Love is!

(Video: Youtube)

“I am the sky and you are the earth. I am the giver of energy and you are the receiver. I am the mind and you are the word. I am music and you are the song. You and I follow each other.”

Nirbhaya, Asifa, Unnao, Who next?

RAPE!! Hasn’t it become a synonym of sex nowadays? I guess, Yes. Previously when we used to hear or utter this word, our entire body used to get shaken. But it has become a common word to hear from numerous people. The horrific rapes in India are now so common that every other day there is a Nirbhaya case. To me, in any case, no rape is less gruesome than another.

The entire nation wakes up with news that a young girl has been kidnapped and then brutally assaulted by older men. What? She’s just an eight year girl. Be shameful on what you did.

In most cases of rape in India, especially the recent cases that have shocked the nation once again, rape is not an act of lust but used as a tool to show power or take revenge, in these cases it is so difficult and almost unfair to not talk about politics.

Our main problem is that we remain silent in real life, but show our feminism on social media which is completely inappropriate way to condemn to the attackers. So kindly keep your social media feminism in your pocket and try to give her respect in her real life.

But when the matter comes to politicians or celebrities who are attackers or involved with these activities, then justice becomes blind and the whole country come together to stand by with them in real life.  We really don’t care your political compulsion, the ideology of your party, your attachment to a religion. If you don’t crack down hard and do justice to our child, you don’t deserve to be an Indian leader.

We have cases after cases, headlines after headlines but where’s the justice? What do we have to show for, where have we punished the rapists? Where are all those politicians and their connections who raped – why aren’t they rotting in jail?

In India, you are inviting yourself to be raped when you choose to wear skirts, jeans or eat biriyani. Here, you are raped for going to bars to drink and have a good time there. You will be raped because a politician or celebrity or his son has set his eyes on you and wants you to satisfy his hunger. And you can also be raped and murdered for falling in love outside your community. In India, you can be raped because you have happened to be an innocent child.

It’s really ok to make law and orders and policies just for sake. But where the hell are those policies, law and orders? Where’s the justice now? We all have been talking about real women safety and Beti Bachao. But where have all these propagandas gone?

Rape is not a problem in India. It’s an epidemic. It’s not being propagated by those who are part of this cruel act but also by those who remain to choose silent and not to speak on it. It’s just not a crime, but has become a cruel culture.

Turning 30? Oh God!

India is a country where your house is always been under surveillance by your neighbour or some Sharmaji ka ghar. Here, you get more tantrums or taane than the actual Carmel you find in five star. Sometime, I feel like I am being kidnapped by my own parents because they always find the way out to compare us with neighbour, Sharmaji ka Beta.

Source: Scoopwhoop

“Tuje pata he woh panchvi galli me jo Sharmaji rehte he na, uske bête ki shaadi ko teen saal ho gaye aur apne liye naya ghar bhi le liya.”

“Maa, Woh Hawas ke pujari ne naya ghar isiliye liya ke naye ghar me jaaye toh uska kuch khada ho sake!!! Warna 3BHK me 10 aadami ke sath rehne wala banda kaha se apni gufa tak pahochega?” I wanted to speak loudly but just murmured with myself.

Sharmaji ka beta is idol to them, according to every parent. But we only know, how many time he has been caught by police for making out with girl in public.

Infact, every house has the same story when the girl/boy turns out to be 26/27.

Beta shaadi kab kar rahe ho?

Are you really serious? Dude, don’t we have another priority or some work to do in life apart from getting f**ked in the day by boss and release those frustrations by f**king at night?

We just wish to evaporate from the situation and drown into the cup of water.

As far as these statements come from elders or relatives, are somewhat tolerable. But, when the friend who has just found his perfect match (according to him) without acknowledging him in prior, and his family had set up a trap for him for making it yes at one go, gives the advice for getting married. I speak, “Pehle toh bada sher ban ke ghoom raha thaa na, ab toh ghar wale hi khud iss sher ke shikari nikle toh pinjre me beth kar bhigi billi ban gaya.”

Actually now I get the real answer from a family.

Our mom is like Mother India. She can’t even see our real hard work as the society has already set up the things naturally.

Beta kab tak apne haath ki lakiro ko ghista rahega?

It seems like all the peeps on the earth have done doctorate degree on imposing their thoughts and advices on the bachelor guys.

Khud toh apni haath lauri me akele service nai kar paaye, isiliye dusre ko rakh liya kaam pe oiling ke liye.

Whenever you go to your friend’s place and in case if his mother welcomes you, then definitely she does it with a question instead of water, “Beta, kab tak akele ghumte rahego? Ab toh gaadi bhi aa gayi, laadi kab laa raha hai tu?”

“Yes, auntyji. Jab woh aapki cousin ki beti haa bol de tab.” I always wish to hit her with this answer. 

But damn, whenever I see my friend, I feel pity for being her kid.

But the day comes when you finally attend your friend’s wedding. The people have always been haunting you with their machine guns to fire you with their idiotic questions.

Somehow we save our self by excusing and diverting mind in food and checking out hot chicks. But for sure, we never get saved when the moment comes of taking a group picture of friends on the stage. But, once we step out from the stage, then there’s no chance of running away from groom’s parents. Finally, we get caught.

Oh shit! We can never get out of this situation now.

“Beta, ab toh tumhare friend circle me sirf tum akele hi baaki ho, kab kar rahe ho shaadi?”

“Haanji auntyji, yeh chai pi ke me ghar hi jaa raha hu. Raaste me koi milti he toh bas sidha isi mandap me lekar aata hu.” I wish I could hold her tightly from shoulder and scream in her ears like she would never dare to hear her own silent fart.

Those 4 to 5 years are so creepy that even any vendor comes to sell out the things in your society, you feel abhi yeh bolega, beta aaj kal toh dhaniya aur mirchi ki bhi Jodi he. Leikn teri Jodi kaha he?

Source: Google

Until we reach 30, we desperately lose our patience and invite everyone to say Aao bhai, maine meri khulli hi rakhi he. Maar lo jitni aapko marni ho. Aapki marzi.

But let me tell you, marriage is not only the priority which is left in the world. It’s a myth that has been carried since ages, that if you don’t get married by the age of 26, then you will not get enough choices of candidates.

Yeh wahi log bolte he jinke pas shaadi ke alawa aur kuch kaam nai he!!!

Bhai, tum log woh ho jisne kutte ki doom pe apna pair rakha he. Pata he woh kaatne hi waala he.

We’re just more cautious ke abhi yeh hamara time nai he ki hum gale me patta bandh ke ghume. 

That’s all.

સમય સાથે સંતાકૂકડી

પહેલા તો શબ્દોના રમત થકી આપણે સંતાકૂકડી રમતા હતા. ક્યાંક આંખના ઈશારા પણ એકબીજાને ઘાયલ કરી દેતા હતા. વાત એ નથી કે આપણે એ બધું વિસરી બેઠા છે, પણ ક્યાંક આપણે સમય સાથે ચાલવામાં પોતાના બીજને ક્યાંક છુપાવી બેઠા છે.

નિર્ભય તેના ઘરે બેઠો બેઠો કામ કરતો હતો અને એવામાં જ તેનો મોબાઈલ ફોન વાઈબ્રેટ થયો. ફોનના સ્ક્રીન પર જોયું તો તેના ગ્રુપનું નામ અને આઇકોન ચેન્જ થઇ ગયું હતું. અને આ વખતે પેહલી વાર એ ગ્રુપમાં તેના મિત્રો બર્થડે વિસ સિવાય કોઈ બીજા ડેની વિસ કરે છે અને તે છે એનિવર્સરી વિસ. બસ આજ જોઈને નિર્ભયનું મન અને ચિત્ત તેનામાં ચોંટી પડ્યું. સ્વભાવે શાંત અને નમણો આ નિર્ભય, તે હંમેશા વિચારો અને પોતાની કલ્પનાદ્રષ્ટિનું પોટલું લઇ તેને ખોલવા નીકળી પડ્યો. તે ફક્ત બે શબ્દના અર્થમાં એટલો ડૂબી ગયો કે ક્યાંક એનિવર્સરી શબ્દને બર્થડે શબ્દ સાથે સરખામણ કરવા બેસી ગયો.

તે પોતાને જ અરીસામાં જોઈને કહેતો હતો કે, હજુ થોડાક જ વર્ષો પહેલા હું, સાગર, ગૌરાંગ, કાર્તિક અને વિશાલ અમારું ગ્રુપ રાત્રે 12 વાગે ચાની ટપરીએ બેસીને બીજી કોઈ છોકરીને જોઈને તેમની ભાભી ગણાવનાર અને ખાલી શ્રુતિના એક મેસેજના રિસ્પોન્સથી પાર્ટી માંગનાર આ બધા જ હવે જીવનના એક મોટા તબક્કામાં ક્યારે આવી ગયા એ તો ખબર જ ના પડી.

મિત્રોને હતી એક ટોળકી અને એમાં કોઈ એક મિત્ર નાનામાં નાની વસ્તુ વસાવે અને બીજા તેના મિત્રો પાર્ટી ના માંગે તો એ મિત્રો ફ્રેન્ડશીપના હકદાર નથી. હજુ તો જોત જોતામાં એવું લાગતું હતું કે, હજુ કાલે જ તો આપણે જેવી છોકરી જોઈએ તેવી બાઈક ધીમી પડી દેતા હતા અને અત્યારે એજ બાઈક કોઈ બીજી છોકરી માટે ધીમી પડતી નથી. બર્થડે આવી એની રાહ જોઈને કેટલા દિવસો થી બેસી રહેતા હતા કે જેનાથી અંતે ચાની પાર્ટી તો મળે. અને એના 12 વાગ્યે એને મોઢા પર કેક, લોટ, ટૂથપેસ્ટ લગાવી બર્થડે કંઈક અલગ જ રીતે સ્પેશ્યલ બનાવતા હતા. પરંતુ અત્યારે ગ્રુપમાં ફક્ત ગ્રુપ નેમ કે આઇકોન ચેન્જ થાય બસ એજ ખુશીથી અમે વિતાવેલ દરેક ક્ષણને યાદ કરી અત્યારે માણી લઈએ છે.

હવે તો પહેલાની જેમ અત્યારે થોડી કબાટ ઉપરથી કે પલંગ નીચેથી પટારો નીકાળવાનો હોય, કે જ્યા આપણે પહેલેના ફોટોગ્રાફ્સ અને તેની વિડીયો કેસેટ સંભાળીને કપડું બાંધીને મૂકી હોય.!!! પણ હવે તો પોતાના ફોનની ગેલેરીમાં જઈને આંખ સમક્ષ લાવવા માટે નિર્ભયે પોતાન ફોન લીધો અને લાગણીઓમા વધુ ઊંડાણમાં ઉતારી ગયો.

હું પણ એમ જ વિચારું છું કે, સમય તો એની ગતિમાં જ ચાલે છે, પરંતુ આવતી કાળને ગઈ કાલ બનવામાં જરાપણ વાર નથી લાગતી. સમય પણ એક ઝરણાના વહેણ રૂપી દરેકના જીવનમાં ખડખડતો જ રહે છે. જે ઝરણાનું વહેતુ પાણી જે પી ગયું, બસ એજ તેના ખળખળતા અવાજને માણી ગયું.

આમ સમય ભલે દેખાતો ના હોય, પણ આજે નિર્ભયાને ઘણુંબધું દેખાડી ગયો.